Several years ago, when I was arranging a painting to be done of Mom & Dad for a gift from my siblings and I, the artist made a statement to me that stood out and I will always remember. I guess because I'd never thought of it quite like she expressed it. She said, "It's obvious you have great love and respect for your parents." I knew my parents loved me, and that I loved them, but I hadn't thought of how much or even why. Since then I have, many many times.
I know about some of the sacrifices they make for us now, and some that they made for me before... quite sure there are many I don't know about. I'm always in awe of their willingness to give love and support, even when we don't "deserve" it. What I mean here is... they are very aware that everyone has weaknesses and that it is not our place to criticize or remind people of their failings. They just do what they can to be a positive influence. This includes holding comments that have the opposite effect. We know right from wrong, we stumble, and being reminded by others of failings (and many times if all the details were known, it's not an actual failing, but temporarily necessary... and none of peoples business anyway) is sooooo not helpful.
When I walked away from church years ago, it was not because I'd "lost" my testimony. I didn't fully understand the atonement and people's constant "free" judgments from others at church had me convinced repentance was for the "small stuff," and that I had screwed up so badly, I was basically a lost cause.
I knew how my parents felt about my choices, they didn't need to say it, especially not repeatedly. And they didn't. What they did, was really love me, screw ups and all. They visited me regularly, even though my living circumstances made them uncomfortable... As time went on, I reached a point that I missed specific blessings so much, I figured even partial blessings was better than "none." I'll never forget the Bishop's reaction to my confessions. He was horrified that I'd been so hard on myself. He didn't know it, but it was a direct result of the constant judging comments from other church members.
Today, those judging comments are still in full swing... just over different things and from different people, but still none of their business. It's not hard to remember how I felt years ago. It's also not hard to remember the mercy my parents showed me. My finding the courage to return, was a direct result of their genuine love. They've shown the same love and support to Lincoln, all along.
We are so grateful for my parents.
I knew how my parents felt about my choices, they didn't need to say it, especially not repeatedly. And they didn't. What they did, was really love me, screw ups and all. They visited me regularly, even though my living circumstances made them uncomfortable... As time went on, I reached a point that I missed specific blessings so much, I figured even partial blessings was better than "none." I'll never forget the Bishop's reaction to my confessions. He was horrified that I'd been so hard on myself. He didn't know it, but it was a direct result of the constant judging comments from other church members.
Today, those judging comments are still in full swing... just over different things and from different people, but still none of their business. It's not hard to remember how I felt years ago. It's also not hard to remember the mercy my parents showed me. My finding the courage to return, was a direct result of their genuine love. They've shown the same love and support to Lincoln, all along.
We are so grateful for my parents.
1 comment:
Ok, you gave me chills: I haven't been in the blogging mood but felt I NEEDED to read yours.. I love this post and I am grateful to know you. You have set such a great example for many of us and I appreciate your honesty.
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