Two different

I chose to ignore what was going on around us during Christmas and just focus on the holiday and our family, so I didn't post about it.

Aidan's ekg has two completely different reports.  The first says it's abnormal and gives an explanation.  The second simply says it's normal.

As I am required to provide proof of the boys' disabilities, I've requested their neurology records.  The whole time we've been told verbally, face to face as well as over the phone, that the prognosis for our boys is pretty much awful, not once has this been recorded in their files.  What kind of doctors do that?  Maybe I'm being naive, but it's left me sick and feeling incredibly manipulated.

As Aidan's condition worsens, his nights have been as awful as they were when all of this started.  Back then, he would come to me at 2 am and stay until morning.  I encouraged him to learn to stay in his own bed, and he did.  But he's expressed for a while now, how scared and miserable he is by himself.  I offered to either allow him to be in my room, or for me to be in his room until we can get better help from the drs.  But he is worried about my sleep quantity as well, and said, no, that he knows I need sleep... :(

We asked if he wanted twinkle lights added to his ceiling, or walkie talkies, etc.  He was willing, but I kept getting this feeling that we should try getting him a little dog.

A dog is not what I want.  I don't want the purchase price, the training, the mess, the vet/shot bills, the accommodations, etc.  So I kept trying to come up with something else and kept avoiding verbalizing an offer to Aidan.  But the feeling kept getting stronger.  When I finally asked him if he would like a little dog, his response solidified it for me.  He instantly became the calmest I've seen him in a long time, and softly said, "I would... love a dog."  

So the search for a breed to accommodate his needs was on...  and now that we've decided on that, we are waiting for the dog.  Praying we find one that bonds to Aidan, and is easily trainable and healthy. :)

Now if I could figure out what to do for Jace.

His new plan under the redesign started.  Because the state employee won't return my calls, there are issues still unresolved.  I guess I will have to find out who his boss is.  Yuk.

We haven't found the right interventionist yet, or got his workers scheduled either.  Meanwhile, he's still not doing well and I'm left dealing with so much turmoil because of it.  When Jace has the most medication in him, he can express two things to me.  One, he wants more of me... more time cooking with me mostly.  And he wants a cat.  Major no to the cat... sorry Jace, I pretty much um, hate cats.  I would be willing to compromise with a bunny... but when I don't even see how we can afford the puppy... ugh!  For the more me part... I give him more time with me and end up so on edge and frazzled and down right freaked out.  He is still SO impulsive.  How do I keep him out of the ER in such a situation?  I can't!  So still trying to figure things out for him.