Just journaling

*Warning: This is long, and probably won’t be interesting to you.*
When I started this blog my goal was simply to keep my parents connected with our boys, because they live so far away. As I’ve continued, I have sometimes wondered if certain things were necessary for me to include in my posts. I think my pregnancy with Clayton has changed what I choose to post, to a certain extent, because there was really personal information I ended up including. I knew other family and friends wanted that information. I also saw how sharing information can open the door for me to learn. And it has served as a journal. So obviously, my plans and goals have changed. Which is why I’m going to add this. I want my boys to know this when they are older.

Several years ago, and before Aidan, I had an early term miscarriage. With this came the normal blood tests. It showed really elevated levels of prolactin. I was told I could have a brain tumor and sent for a CT scan. It was deemed negative, I was given a prescription for Bromocriptine and sent on my way. It made me very sick, so after two days of taking it, I stopped and went on with my life thinking I wasn’t going to have children. (A side note, this whole time we have had no health insurance.)

A little over a year later my symptoms of elevated prolactin levels increased to the point I couldn’t keep anything down, oh I was soooo sick. I lost over 15 pounds in a week and a half. So I went to a clinic, was told I probably had an ulcer and almost given a prescription. But a formality, even though I’d taken like 10 pregnancy tests including one the night before said appt., I was tested again. It was positive. I was in shock to say the least. Come to find out, I was already 13 weeks along. (Lying prego tests!!!) I had problems with Aidan’s pregnancy soon after. Hypertension that required bed rest and medication, and gestational diabetes. Not an easy combo, but he lived and had no birth defects, and we were thrilled.

My health continued to deteriorate, with symptoms like major loss of hair, amenorrhea, galactorrhea, nausea, major weight gain no matter how much I exercised or dieted, migraines, and dozens of others, that had started several years before, but continued to increase and become extremely troublesome.

When Aidan turned 2, I started to think about how I didn’t want him to be an only child. But with no menstruation, you can’t just get pregnant. So I looked for an OBGYN. Blood test results again, showed my prolactin levels were too high. He ordered an MRI. Again, we were told, “no tumor.” After a couple ultrasounds he saw things that had him totally stumped. Like my uterus being really thin like someone who’s been through menopause already. Of course I hadn’t, although it is a possible occurrence. So he contacted three specialists from hospitals in Maine he‘d worked with. They all said, “there’s a tumor, they just don’t see it, she’s a classic ‘pituitary gland tumor’ patient.” He prescribed Cabergoline at their suggestion. It took increasing the prescription twice to get a strong enough dose for my menstruation to come back. First period, I got pregnant. Again, the pregnancy tests came up negative until, this time, 11 weeks along.

Jacen’s pregnancy was really scary. The gestational diabetes was complicated by severe insulin resistance. Forcing me to take up to 150 units of insulin at a time to keep my numbers low enough, but then I’d plummet 3-4 hours after dosing. Which is very dangerous. My heart problems got worse too. I ended up with the diagnosis of supraventricular tachycardia, svt, (or paroxysmal atrial tachycardia, pat) and told that though the echocardiogram showed no visible damage to my heart, I should not get pregnant again because it would do damage to my heart, and my symptoms would be much worse. They were already affecting my ability to function. So when Jace was born and only had problems with his legs, and allergies, we were again thrilled, but this time decided he would have to be our last child.

Then came the nagging feelings that wouldn’t go away. I told Lincoln. To which the response was, “no way, I can’t be a single parent.” Nagging just got worse. So I talked to Lincoln again, with the question, “how much worse would it be for us to ignore Him?”

This time I already had a patient/doctor relationship with an Endocrinologist who prescribed Bromocriptine again. It was miserable, but I accomplished what I'd been asked to do. I got pregnant almost immediately. Jace was less than 6 months old. To say I was scared was a major understatement! I was not only ignoring my cardiologist and obgyn, but I was still recovering from pregnancy and birth.

Then, what happened with Clayton is already chronicled in previous posts.
After Clayton, and because I was told my Endocrinologist that I must continue taking the medication to “shrink” the tumor (sounds laughable, but it’s true,) and for my future health, I started on the Bromocriptine again. This time, the symptoms of the svt didn’t improve without being pregnant and actually got worse. So I went back, asking for reassurance that I’d be okay. He said, “we have to get you off this immediately.” So he switched me back to Cabergoline. It, thankfully, doesn’t affect my heart like Bromocriptine does. But it costs more, both being very expensive.

So that brings this up to date. If you actually read through all that, you are an incredibly patient person!