Way out of my comfort zone

I'm one of those people who wants to just vote according to my conscience and leave it at that.

Actually getting involved in little debates and going to rallies (aka protests) is not my thing.  At all.

But ID wants to cut millions from their Medicaid budget which would also cut over twice that in federal funding to our state's Medicaid program.  They claim volunteers can make up the difference, and I know that this is just ludicrous.

So when I found out about a rally, I got involved.

Then the arguing began and I just wanted to crawl in a hole.

Because it's so personal for me, it's very hard to not take the disagreeing personally.

So we took our boys, because that was part of the whole thing, you show the legislatures who their choices are effecting.  This was very difficult.  Aidan stood there having back to back seizures, until he was so exhausted he couldn't stand anymore, and then ended up laying on the floor.  I know no one else understood what was going on.  It wasn't a long rally, less than an hour.  But to Aidan it might as well have been all day.

I kept going back and forth in my mind, do I just leave and take him, and not do this?

And then I saw one of the participants who was wheelchair bound with a homemade sign that she'd clearly made herself.  It had many words written on it like "worth, [and] independence."  I can't even describe the look in her eyes, on her face.  Her whole being was crying out, even though there was no noise. But I can tell you, it touched my spirit like nothing else.  She just needs someone to care about her.  Just like all of us do.

So we stayed, even though I just wanted to go home, and hold Aidan, and sob.