So I've been getting this feeling for quite some time that we should be pulling back on DT for Aidan.
Just like the feelings I kept getting regarding regular public school, I've fought it.
I love the people at his DDA. They love him.
After the whole thing with his PT last week, and the feeling intensifying over the weekend, I spoke with them yesterday. DT is now officially "on hold" just like PT.
This morning my view became clearer.
This whole time, the bottom line of my insistence in keeping him there, if I'm really honest with myself, was for social reasons.
It's ALWAYS the first comment-question people make when finding out about everything going on with Aidan... "Well what are doing for him for socialization?" I think today I realize that I might actually hate that question, because it has put the wrong pressure on me, put focus where it need not be and distracts us from what's really important for Aidan right now.
It's ALWAYS the first comment-question people make when finding out about everything going on with Aidan... "Well what are doing for him for socialization?" I think today I realize that I might actually hate that question, because it has put the wrong pressure on me, put focus where it need not be and distracts us from what's really important for Aidan right now.
His health is such a big deal, and he can only handle so much going on each day before his body not only shuts down. But then the hurting itself increases and snowballs, the more we and others try to cram in, to the point of becoming a medical emergency... over and over.
His limit-line has pulled way back.
It just is no longer part of his "biggest needs" list. And actually ends up on the "this is bad" list.
Meanwhile most who work with him are scrambling to find that limit again.
I get that for a child to be well rounded they need good socialization. But Aidan is not in a position to be that sort of rounded... a cookie cutter form according to standards devised by people who don't have or understand his disability. And what others consider necessary socialization is not always what I consider positive/good. Just cramming a ton of it in is not necessarily accomplishing anything valuable for any child. As I have to pare down, I'm becoming much more selective about socialization opportunities and only pick what is most valuable.
At this point in time, it's our family relationships and interactions together that is the most valuable to Aidan.
Now that having been said, I don't mean DT is bad socialization. But it has become hurtful for him during this time. So in spite of my hesitation, I realize those promptings I've been fighting, were right on the money all along. ;)
His limit-line has pulled way back.
It just is no longer part of his "biggest needs" list. And actually ends up on the "this is bad" list.
Meanwhile most who work with him are scrambling to find that limit again.
I get that for a child to be well rounded they need good socialization. But Aidan is not in a position to be that sort of rounded... a cookie cutter form according to standards devised by people who don't have or understand his disability. And what others consider necessary socialization is not always what I consider positive/good. Just cramming a ton of it in is not necessarily accomplishing anything valuable for any child. As I have to pare down, I'm becoming much more selective about socialization opportunities and only pick what is most valuable.
At this point in time, it's our family relationships and interactions together that is the most valuable to Aidan.
Now that having been said, I don't mean DT is bad socialization. But it has become hurtful for him during this time. So in spite of my hesitation, I realize those promptings I've been fighting, were right on the money all along. ;)
1 comment:
Aidan has persevered a long time doing very difficult tasks while dealing with major health issues. He is an incredible boy! Each child has different needs and sometimes those needs are met well when the child is cared for and educated at home.
Love to everyone,
Elle
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