More clear

I should have written this post right after the appt.  As it is, I'm sure I'll be leaving things out because time fades the experience.  But it's just been too busy.

This whole time I've been completely forthright with the Drs, keeping them ALL in the loop of who I've taken the boys to and when, what meds have been changed, etc.  But the second we got into the appt with the psychotic neuro, she started calling me a liar.  Interesting.  I had someone with me the whole time, they can verify what's been said as well as mine and the boys' behavior.  These witnesses are also in my home several hours a week, and see how our family interacts and the environment I provide for the boys.  They have a much better idea of who I am than she does. Yet she kept twisting things trying to make it out like I'd lied in reports to her.  What should have been a follow up for all three boys turned into her going off on me for 4 1/2 hrs over the fact I'd taken the boys back to the neuro at pcmc, and claiming I let the boys walk all over me and used the fact I was protecting Aidan from the floor as a, "metaphor" for her "picture painting."  

I stood my ground.

I told her exactly what I'd wanted to say.  And without fumbling on the words, or losing my temper, or clamming up.  It flowed calmly.  Something that is difficult for me in sleep deprivation/ seizure/ migraine cluster-ville.

I told her I don't trust her.  That I don't think she cares at all about my boys, that it's just an ego thing for her.  I told her that my son is not a, "brat" like she'd called him to his face, and that she has no right to say such a thing to him, ever.  I said more, but those were the main points.

As we left, Damon ran back into her office and I went after him.  I saw her face that was no longer the arrogant front, and it put things in even more prospective for me.  

It really wasn't about taking care of my boys, for her.  

She wanted revenge.  So sad.  What a waste of talent and knowledge.
She could be such a blessing to this community, if only she'd focus on her actual job.

Still, I left relieved and feeling resolved.  Like I'd done what I needed to do to grow and close a chapter in my life.