Okay I'll admit it

This post jumps around a bit... sorry.
I feel like we are in slow motion as everyone else is just merrily whizzing around us.  Don't really feel connected to anything other than my faith and our family.

We're barely keeping Aidan out of the hospital, he's going through zofran like it's candy and still vomiting.

(Having to explain to new workers every week how serious his condition is, is starting to wear on my nerves.
He loves his time there, but I can tell he's feeling disconnected himself too, not having anyone to rely on at the DDA.)

Jace's behavioral issues are so front and center. Tired of all the turmoil it's causing.  I'll figure it out, but in the meantime, I think I just might lose my mind. ;)

(At least he's cute, funny, and very social. :/)

And Damon is having so many seizures, or at least what looks exactly like Aidan's seizures, now that I've caught some on video. I've managed to catch 10 in a 2week period, which is pretty significant when there's so many I can't record.

(His food therapy has gone so well, I won't be surprised if his OT ends it soon.  Damon is still on two bottles a day, but he's doing well enough I should be able to reduce another one soon.)

While looking at what's happening in our government in shock.  Our legislatures are very literally voting the exact opposite of what the majority wants... they were hired by us to represent the majority us, not the few super rich.  They are completely ignoring their true responsibilities and even basic morals.

Including involving our country in yet another war...

I used to be a person that insisted it was our responsibility as a powerful democracy, to intervene on behalf of the less fortunate.  It no longer feels that's what our government is doing.

Now it feels like they are meddling where they shouldn't be, and being incredibly arrogant (and therefore stupid) about it.

While watching gigantic natural disasters devastate entire countries, the most recent being Japan.

While watching such indulgent, rude, crass, incredibly selfish behavior from neighbors and others in our communities and our country as a whole.  I'm even having to deal with it from my husband's ex... an invasion into my personal life that effects my boys so directly, very negatively and has absolutely no excuse.

All as my symptoms that had left for a bit, return again.  With no ability to return to the doctor.

So we're doing our best to prepare the best we can.  We are at a disadvantage on many levels, but we still move forward doing what we can.  I'm sorry, but it doesn't take fear of the future away.  But I'll keep working on it regardless, because I have 3 super little men to take care of.