To My Loved Ones

I've avoided talking about this on here, because I'm afraid I will give the wrong impression. The typed word is easily misunderstood, as there is no conversation to fix misinterpretations and no body language or tone of voice to aide. I have no desire to lead anyone "astray."

But it keeps happening, and it's not going away, and I see so many fueling the fire instead of extinguishing it.

People I care about and love are leaving the church. Precious family members and dear friends.

I'm heartbroken.

Not because I fear for them, I know that one way or another, things will work out for the best. They have been raised well, and they only want to do what's right. Yes, sometimes what's right for us is not what's right for someone else... just hear me out. I know I'm not a prophet, these are simply my observations and feelings.

I'm heartbroken because of the misconceptions among some church members and authorities about them, and the fact I keep hearing it and reading it. Which means they are hearing it and reading it. It makes me sick to my stomach, the assumptions made. They are not halfhearted, faithless, or sinners any more than we are. Let me expand on that- sin is sin. We all sin. And to rub what's going on with them in their faces constantly is not healthy for any of us. They have come to a point where what they believed all their lives was shattered, where they feel utterly betrayed, and the only way to survive sometimes is to just create some distance to figure it all out for themselves. They have that right and I dare say in many cases it's a need. So we should leave it be. We should hold our tongues when the desire to lecture or plead or argue or push away comes, and instead, continue to love them... really love them. Be there for them. Listen to them, answer their questions honestly. Pray for them with no strings- meaning don't pray for what you want, but simply for what is best. You may not know what's best, frankly. Only they and the Lord know what's best for them. Accept that. Do not abandon them. They need our love even more now. They don't want to lose us. It was hard enough losing what their whole life revolved around. I've heard them, I've seen their suffering. They are not contagious.

I've experienced my own distance, and it was awful. So many turned their backs on me. But my parents, they didn't. I knew it was difficult for them. I saw the pain in their eyes and it hurt me even more. But they held their tongues and just loved me. And you know what? My love and respect for them grew infinitely deeper. My anger and hurt faded, the fire was extinguished and I was comforted. I felt safe with them. Exactly what I needed.

The reasons behind my leaving may have been different, and I ended up coming back. But the response still should be the same. If we abandon them, we only cut them off from the very love they need, the very love we need to move forward and keep precious relationships. I don't believe for a second that Heavenly Father and Christ want us to divide and exclude. That idea goes against every parable, every example. It goes against everything I know about the whole reason for us being here, now.

To the ones who have left... We are hurting too, because we care. We love you, always.